Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The "Right" Way to Spend Quality Time?

The dilemma is the "right" way to spend time with Commuter Husband on the weekends. Like most important topics in life there is no one right answer. Decisions are multi-dimensional and time relative. Today's decision could vary from tomorrow's decision.

How our Commuter Family defines quality time is likely very different from the next family (commuter or not) because we bring to the definition:
  • Our four individual personalities
  • 12 years of our family history that has already involved some very non-traditional choices
  • Commitment to not avoid adversity but embrace it so the boys know life is not always fair, it is definitely not always easy and no one is entitled
  • Logistics of extended family
  • Institutional relationships
  • And lest we forget ... 50ish years of baggage from Commuter Husband and me!
So what does all this rhetoric really mean. Let's look at last Sunday ...

After a morning in our Jewish Community (Commuter Husband and I attended an adult Jewish History class while kids played with other Jewish kids), we spent the afternoon doing what many families do on Sundays - we prepared for the week.

Laundry: Mommy with Commuter Husband and Youngest Child
Youngest Son "Can you see me?"
After gathering all the dirty laundry, Youngest Son hid in clothes. Love this forever young child!
Youngest Son turning, turning, turning socks ...
Youngest Son separates laundry and turns all those socks right side out. Mommy with Commuter Husband (me) sprays the stains and starts loading the many, many piles of laundry including Commuter Husband clothes he needs for Monday.

Lawn: Commuter Husband and Oldest Son
Oldest Son raking out leaves
Commuter Husband and Oldest Son finish up front yard bushes - pruning and cleaning up. 

Dinner and Hanging Together: All
The very talented Commuter Husband ...
Mommy with Commuter Husband (me) dashed to Sprouts for fresh and wonderful groceries for Commuter Husband to grill for our Sunday backyard dinner. He kept the grill going overtime to prepare extra for our week. Sweet man!
Youngest Son swims while Commuter Husband grills poolside.
Oldest Son doing what he loves to do ...
The wings in front are collaborative effort between Commuter Husband and me . They are delicious!
So back to the rhetoric ... Sunday included these values for our Commuter Family:
  • Jewish Study and Jewish Community
  • All family members contribute to household chores and had some fun while doing it!
  • Boys learn life skills like doing laundry, cooking, lawn work, cleaning up, etc.
  • Independent time to be active, read or write
  • Coexisting together for hours at our home (mostly outdoors) without any technology diversions
  • Eating and talking together at the table with home cooked, healthy food
  • Each family member helped the other - the most important value really ...

Our choices are for our values. That is the best we can do.


  1. Awesome! Love the pics that go along with it. Helping each other with chores and enjoying cooking and eating meals together are very important quality time.

    I need a pool though! That was the first thought I had when I saw that picture!

    1. Heather,
      The weekend time has been a little harder than we perhaps expected. We are definitely trying to approach with a balanced viewpoint. Life is not all fun and games but we DO want to have fun! AND ... Commuter Husband and I did not really want that pool but lots of houses in Dallas have them so we ended up with one and I must say it has been great!! The boys love it.