This Morning

I am listening and watching as my Granny slips away. Twelve hours ago I made the very adult decision no one wants to make. Yet, I feel like that small child that used to happily curl up and sleep next to my Granny.

I am sitting in a hospital room with my beloved great aunt and uncle. Grateful beyond words that they are here. Yet, I feel alone. 

I tell myself that Granny lived a long life on her own terms. Yet, I cannot rid myself of toturous thoughts that things were not quite finished.

I am trying to think through next steps, the next few days. Yet, this moment, this day seems enormous and never ending. I am not even sure I want it to end because I do not want this ending.