I called Car Pool and told them "We are running late and I will take boys to school."
The boys were bickering, things that needed to be done were not done and I YELLED - really loud and mostly at Youngest Son but Oldest Son got some smack down too. On the way to school, we all three apologized for our part of the morning meltdown. We discussed each infraction and how we can do better. I honestly confessed that I may yell again but I will try to do better. I dropped the boys off with 5 minutes to get to their classes. I said "Have a nice day!" and we all looked at each other sheepishly and with half grins. I then dialed into my work conference call as soon as I drove off campus and tried to sound pleasant and professional.
We are far from perfect. While I have chosen this life and the chaos that comes with it, I still get exasperated from time to time. Commuter Husband and I both work full time at stressful jobs and we have to get everything done that comes with maintaining a household and raising kids in a fixed number of available hours.
I opened Facebook this morning and saw a link to Killing Off Supermom by Lisa Quinn.
My favorite line "I would like to publish my own magazine called, "Half-Assed".
She starts with a list
- "The beds are rarely made unless someone is coming to visit" CHECK - Commuter Family also practices this bed making policy.
- "Sometimes I yell" DOUBLE CHECK - think I covered that above ...
- "My closet is a disaster" CHECK - I am actually considering hiring someone to help me clean it.
- "I feel guilty that I work too much" - TRIPLE CHECK - but paying the bills seems prudent.
- "... cannot afford to go organic right now" - see bullet above, the "working too much" is paying for my increasing grocery bills because I have decided to go organic!
The irony of my choices is that I am a bit OCD (self-diagnosed) in that a messy, unorganized house makes me anxious - just ask Commuter Family. However, I have decided that life experiences are worth the anxiety. We will continue to travel, invite people over, be lifelong learners and participate in fun events. We will definitely continue to put time with the people we love as a priority over a perfectly orchestrated life.
And ... I will probably yell at my kids and husband sometimes too ...